Friday 22 November 2013

Day 1: Back in the Game


I've decided to return to doing daily creative blogs. So... here's to another year! I'm going to be more open in terms of what I can post about. Instead of not including Etsy or school, I'm going to include anything and everything that I make. 

And thus... Are you sitting comfortably? Excellent. Let us begin.


I've been having a bit of an identity crisis, and a lot of that is stemming from my lack of creativity, and lack of... everything. I'm happy being a wife, and that's about the only thing that I feel confident in. Which... would be fine. Except for the fact that I'm struggling through school. I'm just doing everything that I can to tip toe through the next two weeks, and trying to make my way through it. I can only hope that being off for the Christmas holidays will make it better. Maybe this artist block will fade then. Still, I'm struggling to get through. It's messing with my views of self, and my identity. Not to mention permanence. 

Thus, I am getting a tattoo. Two, actually. We have yet to get our wedding tattoos, but I feel like this is something that I need to do. I know that a lot of people will ask questions, and ask me if I'm sure, and so on, and I can answer them happily.

What about when you're older? How will they look when you're old? Tattoos don't determine how your body will look when you're old. You do. It doesn't matter what's on your body; if you don't take care of your body, it can look wretched regardless. If you exercise, eat well, and take care of your skin, you'll look fine. There's plenty of older people whose bodies look fine.
What if you regret it when you're older? Tattoos are like scars. The only difference is that you can choose where they go, and what they mean. You are choosing to memorialize a time in your life, and making a decision to carry that throughout your life. Even if the way you feel about the imagery changes, you'll think back to what it meant. That will always be with you. 
How can you do that to your body? I'm pretty sure that people have done worse things to their body. Also, there's a phrase floating around the internet. "Your body is a temple. Why not decorate the walls?"

Getting a tattoo is something that I feel like I need to do. I feel like I don't have much permanence or certainty in my life. I have my husband, and my family, and every day I am thankful for those people who I love more than the world. Still, I don't feel like I have myself. My response is to decorate my body, with things that remind me who I am, and the things that are important to me. 

I am actually getting two tattoos. One will be near my collar bone, and is the fox drawing above (roughly). The tattoo artist who is doing my tattoo is going to do a couple of re-designs of it in his style, and it's going to be great. Just black and grey ink, and not very big. Why am I choosing this tattoo? Well, the fox is one of my spirit animals. One person told me that he feels like it's actually a pack of foxes (which isn't a thing, which is why it's so fascinating). Foxes are an animal that I relate to, and I feel like they've been present for a lot of moments in my life. I once had a conversation with a fox, and the engagement ring that my husband gave me is a fox. I find nothing more graceful or beautiful than a fox in the wild, and I feel blessed that I've had so many interactions with foxes. They're so beautiful, clever, and graceful. All of the things that I try to be, at least on the inside. The symbol on the fox's face is the alchemy symbol for sulphur, which according to alchemists is the omnipresent spirit of life. For the past few weeks, I have been drawing the sulphur symbol. I find something very calming about it. Not to mention that the idea of the 'omnipresent spirit of life' strikes chords with me. It makes me think about my spirituality, my relationship with God, and, of course, the presence and importance of life in general. The overall design was inspired by my fascinating with "cosmic foxes". No, cosmic foxes are not a thing. I made it up. It just combines two of my favourite things. The power of the universe and the power of an individual creature.

Along with the fox tattoo, I am also getting a small tattoo on my wrist. This is particularly important to me, because of past experiences, and I want to have a reminder. The tattoo is going to be three small black or grey dots in a row. I got the idea from Hobo dots (a type of tattoo that's common in Sweden, only the three dots form a triangle). The number three means a lot of things. For me, it mostly means 'past, present, and future'. It also echoes ellipses points (...) which are one of my favourite forms of punctuation. For me, it says keep going. You have every reason to. 

I'm really excited to get my tattoos done. Because I'm not getting colour done on either tattoo, the tattoo artist thinks that they'll take between half an hour and an hour. The dots will take maybe thirty seconds? And thus, two tattoos in one day. I'm booked to get them on Tuesday. I'm really excited. This decision is one of the only ones that I've been happy about in recent days.

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